The simple prayer that changed my life and strengthened my faith.
I am in my 30’s and by now I have had enough experiences to know that I will never be able rationalize nor explain why life happens in the way it does. I have always had faith, it’s the meaning of my name. I have experienced miracles, but I have also experienced tragedy, and that’s what’s makes unyielding faith a challenge. What has been even more challenging is navigating those times in my life when I am resting upon a peak of blessings, but those around me, near and far, are in a valley of struggle.
I have accepted that struggle is a necessary part of the human experience.
It took me a while to come to terms with the way life teeters on the edge of struggle and calm.
There was a long period of my adult life that I would kneel and pray for God to help me reach the point in life where everyone and everything in my scope of daily experiences were GOOD. This meant I would exist in a swirl of only good news, things, vibes, and emotions. Unlike the roller coaster I was experiencing. I would get a promotion one day, then next day I would get call about my sister having a serious accident at work. This was deeply frustrating and unsettling from me. It seemed that every time something good happened, it was followed by something seemingly “bad.” Then when something good followed the bad, instead of relishing in it, I would anxiously wait for the other shoe to drop.
What’s more is, sometimes the “bad” was not even within my scope of daily experiences. I’d watch or listen to NPR and learn of a mass shooting, a natural disaster, or suicide bomber thousands of miles away. Even those these events were impacting people or places for which I had no connection, I would feel deeply troubled. I’d then fall into the trap of feeling guiltily about my struggles when I compared them to these more daunting catastrophes. In doing this I ended up in a cycle of self-pity and despair. I felt bad that I couldn’t solve my “small” problems nor anyone else’s.
I was in this cycle of negativity for several years because I could not recognize that the world and my life had balance.
The good did not outweigh the bad. The bad did not outweigh the good.
It was through a simple moment and the wisdom found in books that I came to the realization that my struggles were not impeding my peace. The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life by Deepak Chopra was instrumental in my evolution. Secret #4 opened my eyes to how I could manage the range of emotions that came with facing the ups and downs of life. The fourth secret is accepting that “What You Seek, You Already Are.” This requires you to not censor what you feel or deny what you feel. He explains that:
“Your aim is not to experience only positive emotions. The road to freedom is not through feeling good; it is through feeling true to yourself.” – Deepak Chopra
This helped me realize that the world is in a cosmic tug of war with positive and negative energy. The positive and negative are equal opposite experiences. It is a truth. It is a beautiful struggle. After reading that chapter I just sat for a while thinking and absorbing the notion that I am not meant to only experience good. I remember this moment so clearly. I was reading in a chair in the loft area of the second floor of our home. The house had just quieted to mere but steady ambient sounds. The sounds that usually follow my sons taking that last deep relaxing breath just before drifting into a well deserved but hard to come by nap. As I sat there feeling intensely grateful for this peace and quiet after a morning filled with the chaos, tears, screams, and energy of two very young boys, a simple prayer drifted into my consciousness.
“Find peace in the struggle.”
It was clear and simple to me. Where there is peace there is struggle. From conception to childbirth, night to day, cold to hot, start to finish, there are these intense moments of chaos and calm. It was only natural.
From that moment on I let that pray wash over me whenever I felt out of control, overwhelmed, or hopeless. I no longer forsake the bad or negative but instead embrace it just as I do the good and positive.
And so I want to extend my prayer to you all. I pray for you to find peace in your struggle.
Putting this Strategy into Practice
Contemplate:
Is life really in balance? Do you have examples from your life where struggle has been balanced by greatness?
Create:
List out or create some sort of visual representation of the all the positive aspects of your life? Post the list or your visual where you will see it everyday. Use it to help you find balance when you are in a valley of struggle.
Concentrate:
Find a quiet space to take a few deep breaths and take 3-5 minutes to mediate on the following simple prayer for yourself, your family, a friend, or even the world:
“I pray that ____________ finds peace in _____________ struggle.”
Did prayer bring you peace? How would you change it to help you find balance in life’s ups and downs?